14/05/2022
I originally come from Lahore but my father, being a nuclear engineer, was posted to Chashma nuclear power plant, so we've been living there for the past 20 years, and so I received all my initial education from there. As a child, I was always an all-rounder, enthusiastic about and highly participative in all kinds of extra curricular activities, be it sports or debates, musical performances or dramatics, I could be seen everywhere. But that did not mean studies were secondary. I've always consistently been a position holder, ever since grade 5 and that is one thing that hasn't changed over time.
Seeing doctors around, was always inspirational for me and kindled in me, a keen interest for medicine so when my elder sister got admission to KEMU, that served as the final orientation I needed to decide to pursue MBBS. I scored really well In FSc and cleared MCAT in the first attempt with score that made me land in KEMU, at merit number 5.
My passion for learning has driven me all these years. I actually have a deep rooted interest and yearning for medicine, that is why I always studied with the sole intention of actually knowing the concept and practical application of whatever topic was at hand, completely oblivious of the mere notion of distinctions and positions. That is the only reason why, I would spend all the time and energy needed, to completely clarify in my mind, the true concept of every topic at hand, so much so that mostly it seemed physically impossible to move on to the next unless I had truly comprehended the previous thing.
When I came to KE, the environment was obviously different from my expectations. The overall aura, laden with the heaviness of anxiety and a sense of endless competition, the duress that comes from being amongst a huge pool of extremely diverse and capable individuals, each one of a kind in their own special way, can be extremely intimidating. It can coerce you into the fear of losing your own individuality and identity, of being lost as a mediocre somebody in a vast sea of talent.
The only thing I wanted was to not be just that. I have always been goal and career oriented, and never been shy of working hard and spending my full time and energies for the completion of that goal. The goal here was to know, to learn, to be a good doctor. In the light of that goal, all my other interests gradually withered away, I lost my liking for extra curriculars because I did not want to compromise my learning, and the politics and society culture proved to be the last straw.
Resultantly, I was focussed. And yes, it was worth it. I ended up topping 4/5 professional exams, graduating with 14 distinctions at hand, and Alhamdulillah, because it has been Allah's blessing for me, someone who in 1st year, did not even have the slightest idea what "distinction" means, ended up topping the class, and that itself served as the mark for me, something I had to maintain, the standard had been set, I knew what I was up against in the future.
Had that not happened, I sure would have been somewhere in the middle, and I can only thank Allah, for it is nothing if not His blessing.
Everything has a cost. I wish I could have found the right balance, but it is surely easier said than done. Along the way, I had to sacrifice alot of things, but most importantly, the time lost, that I could have spent with family and friends, keeps nagging at me. That is why, whenever I have some at hand, I try to spend most of it with my family. It is also, maybe the only reason why I decided to stay in Pakistan, to not pursue medicine abroad, because I feel I cannot abandon my parents when they need me the most. How would it serve me if I leave them when they are at their weakest and I'm at my peak, years down the road when I would be done for good, these relationships, these bonds, this love, would be my only joy. Things have a way of circling back to you and I dont want to be empty handed, with worldly achievements as my only earning.
If you ask me where I'd be 10 years down the lane, I can only wish and hope to be a successful doctor. Success for me is not medals or honours, It is the ability to alleviate someone's suffering, to relieve someone of their pain, to actually create a difference in someone's life, and to be peaceful and truly content with whatever you are and whatever you do. I hope and pray, I get to have that.
I have alot to be grateful for. A loving and supportive family, tonnes of prayers lighting up my way and opening new paths for me, and If I am honest, a good luck can take you higher up if its paired with honest hardwork and real passion. I believe Allah swt has a unique way of blessing everyone, He has blessed me here in this regard, and He sure blesses other people in a lot of other ways. So we can just be humble and truly grateful for whatever we have been gifted with, and try our best to return whatever good we can, and contribute our best. If we can better even one life, maybe it won't all be in vain.
Sarah Mohsin
Batch 2021