04/06/2026
When did you last put yourself first?
Self-neglect is something we donโt talk about enough.
When people hear the term, they often imagine someone who has completely stopped caring for themselves. But in reality, self-neglect can be much quieter than that.
For me, it often starts with putting everyone elseโs needs before my own.
As a parent, business owner, friend, supporter, and carer, Iโve spent much of my life making sure everyone else is okay first. I remember being told many times, โYou canโt look after others if you donโt look after yourself.โ
I understood the words.
I just didnโt always follow them.
When life becomes overwhelming, I notice the small signs. The time between hair washes gets longer. The earrings stay in the jewellery box. The makeup remains untouched. The bed doesnโt get changed as often as it should. The little things that make me feel like me quietly disappear.
I lose my sparkle.
For many people with hoarding disorder, chronic disorganisation, ADHD, autism, anxiety, depression, trauma, or other challenges, self-neglect isnโt laziness and it isnโt a choice. Sometimes there is simply no energy left after meeting the demands of daily life.
The outside world may see clutter, unfinished tasks, or a home that feels difficult to manage.
What they donโt always see is the person underneath who has spent years shrinking themselves to fit in, masking their struggles, caring for others, and surviving on empty.
Recovery isnโt always about clearing a room.
Sometimes it starts with washing your hair.
Changing your bedding.
Drinking a glass of water.
Putting on a favourite pair of earrings.
Taking one small step that says, โI matter too.โ
If this resonates with you, please know youโre not alone.
Whatโs one small thing you could do for yourself today?
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