22/10/2023
My moments of clarity 💞😞😞😞
We have been together for precisely three years, and our wedding is scheduled to take place next week. Needless to say, I am filled with anticipation and enthusiasm, or perhaps it's merely the falsehood and lies I have been convincing myself of over the past eight months."
Joshua wasn't like this at least for the initial 2 years of our relationship. He never raised his voice on me not to talk of laying a finger on my body in violence..
I haven't been able to confront my self in the mirror, scared of my own reflection staring back at me. scared of my own face adorned with bruises and visible dark circles around my eyes.
" I lost the baby again" I said with tears rolling down my cheeks..
well I didn't come here to argue with him.
I only came to pass a very vital information.
Yes!!. Next week was supposed to be the happiest day of my life, but deep down I know that I couldn't hear to spend the rest of my life in this circle of pain and fear.
"I am calling of this wedding" I said
I had to make it clear to him, though this is not an easy decision owning to the fact that I had dedicated 3 years of my life to him.
I am willing to reclaim my life and rebuild this spirit he has shattered.
3 pregnancies lost in 3,years, what happens after??... In a moment of clarity I realized that my life is also at stake here.
When I walked through that door, I know exactly what I have done, I have been lying to myself since the day he proposed. But in the end I still chose my mental health over my families expectations and I am glad I made that decision.
That was a privotal moment that changed the trajectory of my life.
I told my self that I had to emerge from that darkness and I actually did.
I want my story to serve as a reminder that sometimes the BRAVEST act of all is to choose ONESELF😇,to prioritize personal well being and to stand against DARKNESS🌄 in pursuit of BRIGHTER✨ future
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