15/10/2016
ng inhinyero.
It's been a year since I first met you. You were awkward, cute, funny. Your humor was very attractive. You always are funny.
I didn't mind you actually, but of course we were friends. We're close friends and we see each other almost everyday. You had crushes and lovers and I had mine.
There was one time when we joined for NDEA Meet. We had different events. It was on the duration of the parade that I captured you with my camera. I noticed how you smiled and my heart skipped a bit. That was the first time I noticed that I had a hidden feeling for you. But, of course, I dismissed that knowing you were courting someone. I wasn't heartbroken, thinking I was just attracted to your smile.
But months after that and until this semester it grew and grew -the feeling I dismissed sprouted a new seed and continued to grow. It found its way back to my heart.
And now I can't get over you. You're single and free. I think I already love you. I think i'm getting crazy. Most of the time I wake up thinking of you, and before going to bed I think of you.
I shared this to my friends(because basically my feelings drop whenever i share someone to them); but, unfortunately, it never subsided.
I stalk you all the time: your facebook, your instagram(you're a bit inactive here), your twitter, and your snapchat. I think i'm going cray cray.
I'm always thinking of what I am to you. There are times when I feel something from you and times when I think you see me as a stranger. I get jelly when you are with somebody. I hate it when you get sweet with others rather than me. I tried one time ignoring you and not texting you but I really cannot dismiss you. I cannot bear not replying to you, not greeting you when I see you. Everytime we're together I always steal pictures of you. And no, I'm not psychotic (not yet😂). It's just that I don't have any authority to call you as mine. You're not handsome, you're just funny. But I think I'm in love with you. It kills me inside whenever you won't reply to my texts. It pains me to say that I know I will never be a priority to you; and it drowns me to think I can never be an option, not even an option.
I think we can never be more than anything but friends. You're the first one to break my heart everytime. I always give you what you want/ request but I never ask for favors from you. I always make sure you're okay and eat regularly. I always ask your friends and classmates where you are; they even noticed I have a crush on you.
But I think we will never be more than friends.
What is it with you? That I can't get you off me. That I can't seem to ignore you, to forget about you, to actually don't care for you.
This has been going for a year now. I don't have any authority to call you as mine, I don't even have the guts to say what I feel for you. Maybe we will be never be more than friends.
Dosena.
