09/08/2026
I know I tend to write a number of things and share my thoughts. Today will be no different.
Today, I want to talk about something that seems pretty simple:
Etiquette.
I know what you’re thinking.
Common sense, right?
Normally, I would agree with you.
But here’s the thing about common sense: it isn’t always as common as we would like to think.
And when it comes to Masonry, there are things that may seem obvious to those of us who have been around for a while, but may not be obvious at all to a new Brother.
If a Brother doesn’t know the proper etiquette of the Lodge, maybe his mentor dropped the ball a little bit.
And that’s okay.
Because that means we have an opportunity to teach.
So, what exactly is etiquette?
It is essentially the rules and customs that govern accepted behavior in a particular group or situation.
In other words…
Manners.
But there is that pesky little word in the definition:
Customs.
Not everyone is going to know the customs of your Lodge.
Yes, there are customs and traditions that are common throughout much of Masonry. For example, we generally do not cross between the altar and the East.
A new Brother should be taught that.
But if he makes a mistake and crosses where he shouldn’t, I’m not going to lose my mind over it.
Instead, maybe gently explain why that wasn’t the best way to get where he needed to go.
That is called teaching.
And isn’t that what we are supposed to be doing?
Come Prepared
There is another bit of etiquette that I think is important.
Don’t walk into the Temple Room until you are properly prepared and “clothed.”
For those who may not be Masons, that simply means having your apron properly placed and secured.
But I think there is another kind of preparation that sometimes gets overlooked.
Mental preparation.
Come into the Temple Room ready to be there.
Not just physically.
Mentally.
Leave the outside world at the Tyler’s station.
I know that is easier said than done.
We all have problems.
Bills.
Family issues.
Work.
Relationships.
Things that happened during the day that we would rather forget.
Sometimes we walk through the Lodge door physically present, but mentally we are still somewhere else.
I once had a thought about something that might help with that.
I have never actually seen a Lodge do this, so maybe it’s a terrible idea.
Or maybe it isn’t.
Put a small box at the Tyler’s station with some paper and pens.
If something is bothering you, write it down and put it in the box.
Leave it there.
For a little while, anyway.
There are two things that could happen.
First, you have taken what is bothering you and physically set it down somewhere.
Sometimes that alone can make the burden feel just a little lighter.
Second, you have made a conscious decision to leave the mundane world outside the Temple for a while.
And that gives you an opportunity to focus on the work.
Now, if what is bothering you is something serious and you need your Brothers, then by all means, talk to the Master beforehand.
We all need our Brothers from time to time.
Maybe the Lodge can help.
Maybe someone can offer advice.
Maybe a Brother simply needs someone to listen.
That’s part of what we are here for.
But having that conversation before Lodge opens allows us to deal with the issue without allowing it to disrupt the work of the Lodge.
Sometimes, talking to Lodge leadership beforehand can help us find a solution.
Sometimes, it can at least help us make a plan.
Either way, you have given yourself permission to set it aside for a little while.
And sometimes, Brothers, we need permission to do exactly that.
There Is a Time to Talk
Now let’s talk about talking.
Yes, a stated meeting or Masonic Education is a great place to discuss thoughts and ideas.
It is a great place to question what we have been taught.
It is a great place to ponder what was presented and maybe see something from a different perspective.
But there is also a time when we need to simply listen.
During the opening?
Probably not the best time for a sidebar conversation.
During the closing?
Again, probably not.
During degree work?
Yeah…
Maybe not so much.
Let me give you a non-Masonic example.
I was about ten years old when I visited my first Catholic church.
I was sitting in the front row with a friend of mine and asking questions about communion.
The customs were different from the church I had been raised in, and I wanted to understand what was expected so I wouldn't be disrespectful.
As I was asking a question, I caught a glimpse of a priest out of the corner of my eye.
He walked down the side of the pews and came straight toward me before going to the pulpit.
Now, this priest was about fourteen feet tall and looked like Herman Munster.
Okay…
Maybe not really.
But when you’re ten years old, he might as well have been.
He stood in front of me and said:
“This is a place for talking to GAWDDDDD, NOT one another!!”
Amen, Sir.
You preach it.
I’ll turn the pages.
I was flat-out terrified.
But you know what?
I was breaking the etiquette and customs of that particular place.
I should have asked my questions beforehand.
Granted, when you’re ten years old, you don’t necessarily know that.
And that is the point.
Someone has to teach us.
The same thing applies in Lodge.
If the Master is speaking, sidebar conversations should not be happening.
It is rude.
It is disrespectful.
And yes, I know we have all done it.
I have.
You probably have.
But knowing we have done something wrong doesn’t mean we should continue doing it.
It’s kind of like in my jurisdiction when the DDGM or Grand Master finishes speaking.
That’s it.
They have the last word.
There is a time for discussion.
There is a time for questions.
And there is a time to simply listen.
Knowing which one is which is part of Lodge etiquette.
Respect the Work
A few years ago, I was taking part in a Third Degree.
I can get a little animated when I am doing my part.
It is, after all, a play of sorts.
And I don't think we always give our ritual the credit it deserves as a form of teaching.
So I did my part.
At least a portion of it.
And from across the room I heard:
“See, I told you…”
Now, I understand that I may have made an error.
It happens.
But here is the problem.
While that ritual is being performed, that is not the time to correct someone from across the room.
If I heard you…
The Brother heard you…
And I didn’t mess up his degree…
You did.
There is a time and a place for everything.
That wasn’t it.
And perhaps that is really what etiquette comes down to.
Knowing when.
Knowing when to speak.
Knowing when to listen.
Knowing when to correct.
Knowing when to let something go.
Knowing when someone needs instruction instead of criticism.
And knowing when the work in front of us is more important than our need to be right.
It’s About More Than Manners
I think sometimes we get so caught up in the rules of Masonry that we forget the reason behind them.
Etiquette isn’t really about whether someone walked in the right door, crossed the wrong place, talked at the wrong time, or forgot some little Lodge custom.
Those things matter.
But they aren't the whole point.
The point is respect.
Respect for the Lodge.
Respect for the Master.
Respect for the ritual.
Respect for the Brother standing beside you.
And perhaps most importantly, respect for the fact that we are all still learning.
None of us walked through the doors of a Lodge knowing everything.
We learned.
Someone taught us.
Someone corrected us.
Someone probably pulled us aside and said, “Brother, let me explain something to you.”
Hopefully, they did it with kindness.
And hopefully, we were humble enough to listen.
So if a new Brother doesn’t know a particular custom, teach him.
If he makes a mistake, correct him with kindness.
If you are the Brother who doesn’t know…
Ask.
There is no shame in asking.
The shame would be refusing to learn because we are too proud to admit we don't know.
We talk a lot in Masonry about making good men better.
Personally, I have never really cared much for that phrase.
I think we are here to work on ourselves.
And sometimes working on ourselves means learning something as simple as when to speak and when to remain silent.
It means learning that being right isn't always as important as being respectful.
It means understanding that the Brother who makes a mistake today may be the Brother teaching someone else tomorrow.
And maybe, just maybe, he will remember how you treated him when he was learning.
So, Brothers, the next time you see someone make a mistake in Lodge, before you become the self-appointed keeper of all things Masonic, take a breath.
Ask yourself:
Does this need to be corrected right now?
If the answer is yes, do it with kindness.
If the answer is no, maybe let it wait.
Because sometimes the best lesson we can teach a Brother isn't found in correcting him.
Sometimes it is found in showing him how a Mason treats another Mason.
And when you think about it…
Isn’t that etiquette, too?
I love you and may we govern ourselves accordingly
