Biola University Center for Marriage & Relationships

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Biola University Center for Marriage & Relationships The Biola University Center for Marriage & Relationships seeks to build and sustain healthy relation

Healthy communication isn't just about saying what you think. It's about learning how to say it with honesty, clarity, a...
10/22/2026

Healthy communication isn't just about saying what you think. It's about learning how to say it with honesty, clarity, and care.

A simple formula we love:

1️⃣ "I notice _____"
This is the observation or fact part. You're naming what happened without exaggerating or accusing.
Example: "I notice we haven't spent much time together this week."

2️⃣ "I feel _____"
This is the emotional part. Instead of blaming ("You make me feel…"), you own your feelings.
Example: "I feel disconnected and lonely."

3️⃣ "I need/wish _____"
This is the request or desire. It gives the other person clarity on what would help.
Example: "I wish we could have one uninterrupted night together this week."

So altogether it might sound like: "I notice we've both been on our phones a lot at night. I feel disconnected and honestly a little unimportant. I wish we could have some intentional time together before bed."

The goal is:
- Observation instead of accusation
- Vulnerability instead of criticism
- Invitation instead of demand

💛 Follow for practical tools, biblical wisdom, and encouragement to help you thrive in all your relationships—from dating and marriage to friendships, roommates, and family. Explore more at cmr.biola.edu.

10/21/2026

“That’s just the way I am.” But is that an explanation or an excuse to avoid growth? 👀

Being honest doesn’t give us a free pass to be hurtful. Our personalities may shape how we communicate, but we’re still called to show kindness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).

Healthy relationships require a willingness to grow, even when that means working on the sharper edges of our personalities. 💛

🎙️ In our episode, When You Don’t Match: Personality, Dr. Chris and Alisa Grace discuss how to navigate personality differences without letting them damage your relationships.

💬 Comment “PODCAST” and we’ll send you the link to listen!

Your parents’ divorce can be painful and confusing, no matter how old you are. 🤍Even as an adult, you may find yourself ...
10/14/2026

Your parents’ divorce can be painful and confusing, no matter how old you are. 🤍

Even as an adult, you may find yourself navigating feelings of grief, uncertainty, and changes in your family relationships.

While you cannot control your parents’ decisions, you can take steps toward healing. Giving yourself time to process your emotions, leaning on trusted community, setting healthy boundaries, and bringing your grief to God can help you navigate this difficult season.

In her latest blog, Rachel Pestana shares five practical ways to navigate your parents’ divorce with grace, wisdom, and hope.

💬 Comment “BLOG” to read the full reflection!

We have a packed fall and winter schedule ahead with conferences and events designed to equip, encourage, and strengthen...
10/13/2026

We have a packed fall and winter schedule ahead with conferences and events designed to equip, encourage, and strengthen your relationships, and we'd love for you to join us! 💛

Whether you're looking for practical tools, biblical wisdom, or meaningful connection, there are plenty of opportunities to learn and grow with CMR this season.

💬 Comment "EVENTS" to see our full fall event calendar, get more information, and register!

10/07/2026

What if the key to navigating your differences isn’t convincing your spouse to see things your way, but getting curious about where they’re coming from? 💛

When we take the time to understand someone’s backstory, we create room for empathy. And empathy can move us from “Why do you do it that way?” to “Help me understand why this matters to you.”

In a healthy relationship, that compassion goes both ways. We learn to put ourselves in each other’s shoes, communicate our needs, and make room for differences without treating one person’s “normal” as the only right way.

In our latest episode of The Art of Relationships, Alisa Grace and guest co-host Tatum Munivez talk about what happens when two different family cultures come together in marriage and how couples can honor where they came from while creating something new together.

Comment “podcast” for a link to the episode. 🎙️

💛 Follow for practical tools, biblical wisdom, and encouragement to help you thrive in all your relationships.

It’s easy to let someone’s attention make us feel valuable, or their rejection make us question whether we ever were.But...
10/06/2026

It’s easy to let someone’s attention make us feel valuable, or their rejection make us question whether we ever were.

But your worth was never theirs to determine.

People may misunderstand you, overlook you, disappoint you, or walk away. None of that changes what is true. You are created in the image of God, deeply loved by Him, and invited to root your identity in something far more secure than human approval.

When we know where our worth comes from, we can love people without needing them to prove that we’re lovable.

Your worth isn’t up for a vote. It’s rooted in the One who made you. 💛

📖 “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Psalm 139:14

Follow for practical tools, biblical wisdom, and encouragement to help you thrive in all your relationships.

When your spouse dismisses your feelings, it can leave you feeling unheard, frustrated, or unsure of how to move forward...
09/30/2026

When your spouse dismisses your feelings, it can leave you feeling unheard, frustrated, or unsure of how to move forward.

Healthy communication is not about proving whose experience is “right.” It is about learning to listen, understand, and respond to one another with empathy and care.

So what can you do when you are trying to communicate, but still do not feel heard?

In our latest Ask the Expert, Willa Williams, LMFT, shares practical ways to respond with grace and assertiveness, focus on what you can control, and invite greater understanding in your marriage.

💬 Comment BLOG and we’ll send you the full reflection.

💛 Follow for practical tools, biblical wisdom, and encouragement to help you thrive in all your relationships.

Ministry asks a lot of you. Your relationship shouldn’t get what’s left over.A healthy relationship isn’t separate from ...
09/29/2026

Ministry asks a lot of you. Your relationship shouldn’t get what’s left over.

A healthy relationship isn’t separate from a healthy life in ministry, it’s part of the foundation.

That’s why the Center for Marriage & Relationships and Talbot School of Theology are coming together for Love Before You Lead: Healthy Couples for Healthy Ministry, a one-day conference designed for Talbot students, alumni, faculty, and staff who are seriously dating, engaged, or married.

Join Dr. Chris and Alisa Grace and Willa Williams, LMFT, for engaging teaching grounded in Scripture and backed by relationship research. We’ll get practical about communication, conflict, family of origin, spiritual intimacy, and building a relationship that can thrive through the demands of life and ministry.

📅 Saturday, November 7
📍 Andrews Banquet Room
💛 $40 per couple
☕ Breakfast + lunch included

Love well. Lead well.

Comment “CONFERENCE” and we’ll send you more information and the registration link! 👇

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13800 Biola Avenue
La Mirada, CA
90639

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