Louisville Metro Zombie Enforcement Division

Louisville Metro Zombie Enforcement Division Contact information, map and directions, contact form, opening hours, services, ratings, photos, videos and announcements from Louisville Metro Zombie Enforcement Division, 2305 Douglass Boulevard, Louisville, KY.

Merry Christmas Everyone
12/21/2023

Merry Christmas Everyone

05/04/2023

Remember the line "Sometimes you get the bear and sometimes the bear gets you?" The same thing works with zombies. I was off for a couple of days and had zero caffeine... this morning I was the zombie. At least a good cup of coffee can take care of that.

09/01/2021

Haven't posted anything new in awhile, so I thought I would get back on here.
Be careful, I recently learned that Zombies can drive cars also. It was evident to me because as you know, Zombies wear the items they died / changed over in. So whenever I see someone driving a car with a mask on I am just going to assume that they have joined the ranks of the undead and are wearing the face covering that they died in. (Either that or it is a precaution to keep them from licking the windows :) )
Stay safe my friends!

09/01/2020

The Zombie apocalypse is in full swing. We have mindless drones roaming the streets of many cities causing mayhem and destruction. Be prepared for an encounter. It can happen anywhere.

08/14/2019

Haven't posted anything in awhile. So, do you remember the English Pop Group the Spice Girls? They started in the mid 90's. Well apparently Spice Girls are som**hing altogether different now.

We got a run up on Baxter last night on a female in black bra and panties acting crazy. The Awesome 522A asked the back up cars to step it up. When we got there this girl looked to be in the throws of demonic possession, (for my Pokémon Go Peeps, she was flopping like a Magikarp) It took 4 of us to physically restrain her to keep her from injuring herself. (Handcuffs and a hobble)

While several people were disappointed as the filmed us because we were saying calming and reassuring things instead of beating her like they just knew we were getting ready to do, one lady came out of the crowd and said... Baby, remember Jesus will be there for you when you are ready to accept him. She looked at me and said: "That's what you look like when the Devil is possessing you

The Zombies are among us and we are seeing more and more of this every day. Apparently this chick has frequent flier miles down at University for similar events.

05/18/2019

Someone has let out a new batch of m**h. The zombies were everywhere the other night. Nothing like full moon and paranoid zombies.

04/24/2019

Now that Metro Government is closing down the homeless camps expect to see a lot more Zombies in your area. what a coincidence that they decided to shut all these places down right before the Derby Festival events. Who knew?

So the other night we worked a 10-49. Witness stated the Zed driving the car in front of him suddenly drifted up on the...
03/01/2019

So the other night we worked a 10-49. Witness stated the Zed driving the car in front of him suddenly drifted up on the sidewalk and went headfirst into a pole. The person driving had no idea why it happened. When her Dad arrived, the first thing he did was grab her phone... take a guess what was going on at the time of the accident.

02/22/2019

A Zombie crashes her car into a parked car in front of a bar.... (sounds like the start of a bad joke doesn't it?) We get there and bystanders have tried to revive her, but until she gets a noseful of naloxone not even a good mandibular angle nor touching of the eyeball will revive her. In the back of the ambulance she tries to claim she never hit anything. I advise her that not only do we have her on video but while getting her ID out of her wallet I also found another bag of zombie making dust (that HAIR-on) as my friend Pinkie calls it. Sadly it could have been you or your family in her path as she passed out behind the wheel. Luckily it was just a parked car (not that the young guy was happy about it.) Not just Zombies dying from OD's are affected by this epidemic.

01/26/2019

Zombies got Mom's! So the other night there was a Zed down in his Momma's place and she was more worried about us confiscating the magic fairy dust that turned him into a Zombie than she was about the fact the Hose Draggers brought him back from the brink with the magic Zombie reviving drug Narcan.

01/16/2019

Please weather....warm up. all the Zombies are cooped up inside with each other and the past two days have been nothing but Domestics.

I hate it when the Zombies leave handprints on the shield.
11/21/2018

I hate it when the Zombies leave handprints on the shield.

Address

2305 Douglass Boulevard
Louisville, KY
40205

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